hey there...i noticed you noticing me

Just the other day we were talking about how we used to thrive on making people jealous. If you've ever tried to do this before you'll know that it is a strange ego boost, a way to feel worth something. If others were jealous of me that meant that I was better than they were and that was a thrilling feeling for me.
so the right clothes, the right look, a nice car, a good-looking woman on my arm, it was all part of the game and instead of enjoying those things i spent most of my time looking around to make sure people were turning green all around me. When they didn't it made me really mad, "don't they know?" i'd think, "uncultured swine!". But it'd make me want to try even harder.
Thankfully it seems that God is intervening here and he has begun to show me (us) that making others jealous isn't very fun. There is a thrill that lasts a minute and then I'm quickly looking around for someone else to make jealous. The demands keep getting higher and so do the credit card bills :)
much more fulfilling is being a person who makes others feel good. I noticed that other people like me, jealousy-makers, they are pretty detestable people. And though i sometimes find myself admiring them, another part of me knows it's all repulsive. The people i find truly admirable are those who work hard to make others feel good, important, interesting... not in a patronizing sort of way, I'm not talking about those who make stuff up that isn't true or lie. But i guess i'm talking about those who can make others feel worthy because they take the time to look deep enough to notice those worth while things that God has placed in all of us...sounds like a "diversity" lesson on some kids show on PBS, i know, but it's true nevertheless.
These people who do this, the people who make you feel comfortable and confident when you're around them, they aren't always the most impressive people, they may not be the people that you notice first in a crowd, but when you get to know them you discover that their mode of existence is beautiful and admirable. I find myself wanting to be like them, not in a jealous way but in a "these are people i could learn something from" way.
I should say, please don't look to me to try to see this in action. I'm still prone to being an awful person. But my mind has been opened and i think that's a good first step.
5 Comments:
I have thought about that recently and how HORRIBLE it makes other people feel....you think it might make them like you more or admire you, but mostly it just makes them feel really bad about themselves - it doesn't even make them think about YOU, it just helps them to feel crummy about their own selves.....so, aside from the whole practice of noticing-people-noticing-you being wrong and sick and unkind, it simply does not do what you think its gonna do anyway! Useless.....
oh and when i say how HORRIBLE it makes "other people feel" I mean, it has been done to me and i have felt so yucky and sad and mad - and i think about how i have done it in the past and that makes me even sadder and madder.....like really feeling the wieght of my sin.....
right-on. Great point, it doesn't work, so why should any of us do it?!?! and yet we do...
I'm going to high-jack the thought here and suggest that one of the biggest problems in the human existence is the yearning to be "independent"... [translated "cool" in it's many modern forms]
Jesus was so NOT cool... yet Jesus was so focused on a "gang" that He openly and vehemently challenged those who were thinking they were the answer crowd! That gang of His was Israel's people and ultimately all of us!
Being a natural geek, this has still been a struggle. I always would rather have people think I have a brain, than not... Hopefully this witty remark left you wanting! :P
I don't know what you guys are talking about... you must just not be up to my level of cool :-D.... j/k
So, I think Brett has a great point. Jesus was in a group with the disciples. Israel used to be a group. God refers to people as groups in the bible.
Groups can help support each other, love each other, care for each other. When we try to make others around us jealous aren't we attempting to be independant and show up others that we as individuals are so cool.
But, don't we need others and God so giving up part of our individuality is Good?
It's hard to do. Especially, when so many people say to do it.
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