why i give... reason #2
i give because i really DO have plenty and it helps me remember that!
2 years ago we were in our final year of seminary. WE includes elliana, our then 10 month old daughter who God gave us (unexpectedly) on the end of our internship year (called vicarage). So the three of us lived in the cheapest place we could find, the upstairs of a really old house. the heat didn't work so well and cold seeped in constantly. We covered the windows but realized the walls probably had no insulation in them so it wasn't much good-the kitchen never got about about 50 degrees. We had chronic mice problems, during one run we caught 6 in as many days, and still there were more. I made only about $700 a month, it was the best we could do with me in school and jocelyn trying to take care of ellie. we only had to hang on for about 9 months (and seminary would be over!) and we had some savings, but it was tough.
The majority of our food came from the Seminary-run foodbank (if you ever want to know the ins-and outs of hamburger helper-i know it well). We had to take a hard swallow and get on state-funded insurance. There was no way we could afford the regular checkups that elliana had to get, and when i looked at income threshholds we were WAY under (its hard to admit that I was just the person they had in mind when they created those programs). Ocassionally throughout that year we'd get an anonymous check in the mail from some generous person "out there" somewhere. It was a beautiful beam of light in a very gloomy season of life. I'm still SO grateful to those people.
...
Today things are much better. I make several times more money each month than i did back then. We live in a great place. St. Matthew gives us good insurance. We shop at the grocery store now-a-days and can actually PICK the kind of hamburger helper we want to eat! Our kitchen is stil only about 57 degrees, right at this moment at least, but that's because we turn the heat down at night and it hasn't warmed back up again. Life is very different today than it was 2 years ago.
it sounds like i should be pretty content! ... Content??? what's that?
I've heard that most americans, when asked about how much money they'd NEED to be financially stable all give the same answer "about 10% more" So those who make $30,000 a year think, "man if i only had about $3,000 more!" those who make 100,000 are thinking about an extra 10k somewhere. even those who make a milllion bucks are looking for ways to make a quick 100,000 more! It speaks of what we all already know, contentment is really hard!
that's where giving comes in for me. When i look around my life (in a moment like this when i'm thinking rightly about it, not jealous of all the stuff others have) i know i have EVERYTHING i need plus a bunch. And giving helps me remember that. My tendency is to want to hold on to it, to dream of more, to think of reasons why i don't have enough to spare... but then when i make the decision to give, it pulls me out of that mindset to see that "hey i can give $xx away and still we are eating, clothed, warm, and able to get from here to there... guess we had enough after all!"
with contenment, you can sit around and wish it into your life, OR You can do something a little more active. You can take a stand and say "Even though i don't think so all the time, i REALLY DO have enough, more than enough!" And then step out and give some of your "enough" away.
posted by Dion @ 2/27/2006 05:58:00 AM
11 Comments
11 Comments:
This is so true.
One of the things that I always find funny (in a non-joking way) is how so many people I know say they don't have enough to give.
When I was in college I, too, had less money (although I was not in any way in your shoes). Then I got my post college job where I made a lot more than in college. Now, today with raises I make even more. But, until recently I kept saying when I get that little it more I'll give. One of the things I noticed was that no matter how much more I made I was able to spend without skipping a beat. The more I make the more I spend on crap.
So, I decided to start giving. What I found even suprised me. I didn't even notice the impact to my pocket book. Sure, I cut out the crap I had been spending it on but I didn't even notice.
When I give it also reminds me just how thankful I am for what I have.
Amen, brother. I agree fully. Now I challenge. (Isn't that my MO?)
How do we do this without a bad motive? Too often 'charity' in America is based on guilt. You have more than everyone, and you should feel bad about it. Isn't that what our tax system says? (don't mean to get political) Really, that system is like 'forced charity', giving to those who don't have, because you do....
Does this culture of 'forced charity' that we live in skew our motives for giving back to God? Do we give because we feel guilty? Or do we give because we feel blessed, and are happy to be able to help? What's the difference? How do we make sure we're not giving out of guilt?
consequently, i find it funny that the number 10% comes up when people are asked about money...the reality is, most could live with 10% less without an issue, all while giving back to God
Bob has a point. Is our giving based on guilt? Sometimes i believe it is. I admit to have giving out of guilt when i was younger and i didn't want to upset my mom or dad when they told me to give.
But what about self gratification. Do people give to make a show of it. When you give to some charities they offer some sort of "prize". So what about the people who give the most money, do they give so they can get that "prize" and flaunt it to their friends or do they truley give of themselves.
I think self gratification is more easily controlled than guilt-giving. But it all relates back to the same thing...How do we give without it being one of those things?
Tylor, here is an idea on how to give.
First, when you give to the church don't use the envelopes provided and don't put your name on any envelope. You may not get a tax deduction slip at the end of the year but only God will know what you gave. No showing off there.
Second, don't tell anyone what you give unless absolutely necessairy. No bragging and stay away from talking about it. Maybe say something to use as an example to motivate someone else to give but that's about it. (I could see this happening maybe once in a blue moon tied with a visit from papa smurf.)
Third, pray about it. Pray that God will lead you on a path that allows you to give, keeps you humble in your giving, and a life that reminds you of what you have is a gift and to be thankful for what you have.
Just my 2 cents. I know that we talk about these great church ideals but I like to make them practical and small steps. Without taking these visions like that, for me, I won't ever be able to make them happen in my own life.
Thanks, Dion, for the reminder of Edith's place and seminary. I'm pretty sure we shared all of those experiences as well.
Bob raises great questions--Do we give out of guilt? Or because we feel blessed? I cannot answer for anyone but myself, but I know that when we crossed the line from giving out of obligation to giving without guilt was when we were personally invested in ministry. We were in a place where we were involved in meaningful relationships where we were invested in as well as doing the investing in other people. We experienced the blessing of being the recipients of others' giving and wanted to give in return. Giving to God shouldn't be about what we give and get, but personally being in the trenches of God's work, seeing how giving affected us and other people did it for us.
Speaking of giving motives . . . what do you think about things like capital campaigns or letters from church leadership asking members to give-usually financially. Does is make you want to give or turn you away? If you are on the other side and are in a church leadership position and might already be faced with how to fund ministry, what do you think about encouraging people to give in those ways?
hartkes....
ya know, I never haved liked capitol stewardship campaigns. I always felt they were asking for something that made me feel funny. Recently I think I figured out why and it's changed my mind on them.
If everyone were giving 10% or even something like 7% I don't know if those stewardship campaigns would be needed. But, tight butted people give so little that these other giving campaigns are needed to raise funds for the work of the church.
So, the issue is not with the stewardship campaigns (for me anyway) it's the tight butted people. I used to be one of them and that's when the idea made me feel weird.
So, I think they are necessairy because people don't give normally.
In the bible, didn't Jesus talk about money second most and only behind the kingdom of God? If that's true... then why does the church put so little of it's energy into the money issues of today (I mean people being tight with it and seeking after it like it's the #1 priority in life)?
Most churches are becoming like the Federal Government. Spend. Spend. Spend. No matter what the income looks like.
Everytime giving goes down, churches think "how can we get more" instead of "maybe everything we're doing isn't necessary or effective." I know, I know, the latter would involve a serious look at one's flaws, and everyone avoids that at all costs.
If you believe that God works in people's hearts, you belive that he also works to coordinate the hearts of the church to do His good. So, the logic only follows: If God isn't moving people's hearts to give then either he doesn't want the ministry using more money, or, something is ineffective and needs to be changed.
Why does it seem no churches see this? It's always about MORE money rather than trusting that God is moving in people in his own way and own time. If we followed this, yes, churches would die, but only the ineffective ones that are stirring no hearts. The ones that were stirring people to give would be thriving and growing without any "special campaigns" or "please give" letters. Maybe those dying churches should be looking for the reasons WHY people aren't giving, rather than trying to throw money at the problem.
To put it bluntly: If people aren't buying, something's wrong.
I'm wondering if just having an awareness influences giving. Since you mentioned the seminary foodbank, I just learned about it last year after glancing at a donation letter from the seminary.
I was not aware there was a foodbank, but I sent a donation. A short time later, during a discussion, a woman mentioned that her brother relied on the foodbank for his family (5 kids) while he was at the seminary. Hearing that helped put a connection between my $$ and the needs it helped serve.
The same thing applies to a community foodbank such as Hospitality House. After hearing about their operation and the people they serve, my awareness has increased and I try to send donations.
On the other hand, I don't know a lot about my church's Alms Fund. I know there are needs that are served from that fund, but I don't have an awareness about the numbers of people served and how much is needed for the fund (keep in mind I don't look for specific names or details, but just an overall picture).
So, for me, seeing the connection helps make giving a priority for me.
Bruce,
I guees I question the seeing part. I look at that more like an investment. You want to see how your money was used and that the 'investment' spurred what you wanted or expected it to.
Where is the trust in God in that?
Is the amls fund or the food bank really supposed to be part of the 10% or above and beyond that. Are you giving to the kingdom of God or are you helping other with that money?
Yes, I agree. One should give and trust in God that it is being used to further the kingdom.
What I tried to get across is that sometimes seeing the fruits of giving keeps the motivation going to give. Yes, that is human nature, not God's nature.
I have also heard some people (who are serious givers) include all of their giving as "part of the tithe". So, it might be a majority goes to the church but other amounts go to faith-based and other charities. I don't know if this is acceptable or not, but if the giving is being done with God-led intentions, it's difficult for me to question it.
there is this pastor i heard speak once, a deep guy that i really expect. He talked about how it was the churches JOB to spend money. Of course he wasn't talking about foolish things, but he was pretty direct about how churches should do all they can, use all the resources they have and can muster to make a difference in people's lives before jesus comes back.
this pastor also talks about how he does campaigns, and he takes them as spiritual journeys where he asks everyone to ask the question to engage with God and to do whatever God is prompting them to do. It seems like maybe this would sit better with some of you on campaigns, where the end isn't the goal but the seeking God is?
i say again, my concern is less on who/what you give to... the intention here is to make this personal reflection on why giving may not be such a bad thing. i sorta think that if giving is good then we should do it even if the places we give it aren't perfect with it. I'm more concerned with the act of giving itself... though i think it's all important!
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