Wednesday, March 22, 2006

a plant of slow growth

George Washington used this term to describe friendship..."a plant of slow growth". I'm assuming that means that it takes a lot of work and feeding a friendship before you can really reap the benefits...So true, at least in my experience.

I find friendship to be much harder than i want it to be, maybe it's because i'm a difficult person and not a very good friend. But maybe it's because friendship IS hard. Maybe that's why it's so important for us to partake in, because it's hard and hard things often make us stronger, kinder, more humble humans. Don't get me wrong though, when you invest, it's also a really great thing... "a plant of slow growth."

I constantly go through cycles of wanting to just give up on all my friends (no offense to any of you) because it is harder than i want it to be. And then later realizing how "worth it" the work is. I had a friend come into town a few weeks ago just to see me. He flew in spent about 36 hours and then flew home, because that was all the time i had to spare. It was a great visit... and kinda nutty too, but that's the beauty of friendship.

I had coffee with another friend the other day. Just sat for an hour or so talking. i walk away from encounters like that baffled at how good they can be for my soul, convinced that it's worth the work.

My concern is that people are giving up on genuine friendship today in the same way that they give up on their marriages, their families, their jobs. When it gets tough they bail. I understand the tendency, but it's really sad and i'm afraid people are missing out without realizing it (again the 'disposable friend' idea from Fight Club)

Maybe think on these things the next time you're ready to throw the towel in on someone in your life and scout for an easier friendship. it just might be worth the work to hang in there.

3 Comments:

At 3/26/2006 04:54:00 PM , Blogger Tylor said...

I've learned that lesson the hard way. I have passed up some people that could have probably been good friends. Now i try to make the best of the friends that in have. And i'd have to agree that the hard work does pay off and now i have some of the best friends that i've had in my life so far.

 
At 3/29/2006 06:37:00 AM , Blogger Brett Veenstra said...

I've had different "kinds" of friends and I'm the type of person that would rather keep a small number of close friends.

There have been a few people in my life that I really clicked with, but invariably we get separated. That makes working on new friendships or less easy friendships even more discouraging. It must also mean that it was not a very good friendship since we didn't keep in touch.

The plant of slowth growth kind really seems like your friend who flew in just to visit for awhile. Someone who went out of their way to be with you... huh, kinda sound like JC.

You're right though - there really is nothing like sitting down with someone and being able to talk freely with someone who cares. That kind of friendship, while "easier", is unique in the pace of our world today. That seems like a good first step for us Christians loving our neighbors.

 
At 4/05/2006 06:47:00 AM , Blogger Dion said...

i'd add to that while the logistics of a friendship where you just sit down and talk are EASIER...i don't think the friendship necessarily is. Friendship is still hardwork, which is what many of us don't expect or want it to be.

Small groups (like thru a church) for instance-- people try them and if it isn't easy and at least 90% fun, they quit! But it seems to me that it's supposed to be hard, that's why it's good for us--well one of the many reasons :)

 

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